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I saw my friend getting married this past weekend and I was elated. I have known Precious since 2007. Precious and I at one point lived together and at another point she moved out. We have never stopped communicating and never lost contact.
A little history: In traditional Pedi society, a pedi wedding was patrilocal, and polygyny was practiced by those with a higher social status, including chiefs. A pedi wedding to a cousin was preferred in the ruling dynasty, as this ensured a degree of political integration and control within the family. This is because the two-sets of in-laws were already connected, and the bohadi (bride wealth) could then be used for further bohadi payments within the ruling house.
But things have changed. These days when a woman gets married she knows wheather she is getting into a polygamous wedding or monogamous. And such is the case with this gorgeous friend of mine. Precious got married to a man that’s promised his undying love for her and her alone.
Pedi Weddings start with lobola or mahadi. When a man truly loves a woman he will ask for her hand in marriage no matter how little or a lot his money is. It is reported that most young men argue that lobola and the economic situation are the greatest discouragement for them to settle down. But money is never a factor to getting married unless you have chosen a woman out of your league (which happens often these days).
Young men who fear responsibility always sight lobola as a problem. Lobola should never be a deterrent in the African tradition as it was never about material goods.
A high bride price can never prevent a man to marry the woman of his dreams. If a high bride price is an issue then you are not the woman he loves since the mode of payment can be negotiated to suit both families. The Sotho saying that says: ‘Monyala ka pedi o nyala wa hae’ [Two cattle would suffice for a man to marry the woman of his choice] confirms this as well.
Precious and I used to spend a lot of time and energy discussing how our futures should be and how they should turn out. There was this one time I was like, ‘I don’t want kids at all’. She thought I was crazy for saying such. How could such an intelligent woman say she doesn’t want kids? She asked me why I didn’t want kids and I gave her a vain answer. I said ‘kids change your body’. How stupid and uneducated my response was. #Memories LOL
Looking back to the wedding and how beautiful she looked during in the pedi wedding gown I designed for her. It can safely be said that we both have grown up quite a bit. My views on getting kids have changed. I really want a child now and I’m open to the gift. She on the other hand already has one. Might I add how gorgeous she looks as she is also pregnant in these images. So the glow you see on her face is hers, but not hers entirely. Some of that glow can be attributed to the bundle of joy growing inside her.
Being a pedi wife is so cool. I see it in her and in the way her husband looks at her in the special moment when Precious and I hang out and her husband either comes to pick her up or drop off something. It’s unbelievable to witness the wonders that God has done.
Photos of Traditional Xhosa Wedding 2018. Photos: South African + Traditional + Wedding + Dresses | traditional dresses Models .